Weekly Website Wednesday: CAPalert

This week’s website is a holy website for good little Christians.

CAPalert link picture

Tom Carder is one of my favourite crazy Christian fundamentalists. On his movie review website, CAPalert, he goes into obsessive detail about how all your favourite movies anger God.

According to Tom, the following things anger God when they’re in a movie: cohabitation, two-piece bathing suits, tattoos, farts, butts, gay people, kissing, magic use, etc. etc. etc. He believes that all the Harry Potter movies should have been rated R.

His website is also somehow a nonprofit Christian ministry, so, yeah, that’s also a thing.

Weekly Website Wednesday: Sexual Lobster

This week’s website is another YouTube channel.

sexual lobster link pictureSexual Lobster, or Chris Voigt, is an Australian animator who makes crazy, surreal videos.

My favourite of his characters is Fernando the Manwhore, who has adventures on the mystical Pleasure Island.

Randy, head of yogurt acquisition, comes in a close second.

Weekly Website Wednesday: Fashion It So

This week’s website is another Star Trek website, because I can never, ever stop talking about Star Trek on account of my congenital nerd defect.

fashion it so link picture Fashion It So is a website that analyses the crazy clothing, makeup, hairstyles and accessories of Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Ever noticed how teeny-tiny Captain Picard’s shorts are? You’re not the only one.

Why is there so much underboob in the future?

Why did the skant uniform have to disappear? It was totally awesome!

Anyway, go check out Fashion It So, because the fashion of the future is important and junk.

Weekly Website Wednesday: Scorpion Dagger

This week’s website is a a tumblr. Boo. Hiss. SJW bogeyman grrrrrr…

scorpion dagger link picture Scorpion Dagger, or James Kerr, uses Renaissance paintings, mostly of a religious nature, to make wacky, irreverent animated GIFs. If you ever wanted to see Jesus and the apostles getting turnt, he’s your man. Most of his GIFs loop pretty well, too, which is always the Holy Grail of GIFs. Some of the GIFs even feature the Holy Grail.

It’s pronounced with a hard G, by the way, and don’t you ever forget it.

Weekly Website Wednesday: Eric Conveys An Emotion

This week’s website is a website that hasn’t updated in 7 years, BUT I DON’T CARE!

eric conveys an emotion link picture Eric Conveys An Emotion was one of the earliest internet viral sensations. All it is is pictures of Eric’s face depicting different emotions. Yes, it’s true, Eric invented the selfie, but he had no idea what evil he would be unleashing on the world. I blame Eric for the Kardashians, in fact.

Remember the days when websites having images was a new and exciting thing? That’s what was so great about Eric Conveys An Emotion, it had images. We used to be very easily entertained. Get off my lawn ADD Generation or whatever the Hell we’re supposed to call you kids born with a smartphone in your hands.

If I keep mentioning Eric Conveys An Emotion, that means he’ll update, right? RIGHT?